I've been struggling a lot lately (it seems to be worse at certain times of the month =) with how many older children get 'left behind' in orphanages across the world. Currently I'm reading the phenomenal book "There is No Me Without You" by Melissa Faye Greene. It's my kind of book...tears, joy, deep heartache. I can't put it down, but I want to. In some ways it's so easy to forget how life is for so many others in different countries. In the US, we are so blessed. For the impoverished...there is Welfare, free clinics, shelters, WIC, free education for our children, free clothing, counseling, job assistance...there are JOBS, period. I'm not saying there aren't people in this country that aren't starving. I am saying that unless someone is suffering from severe mental illness and is living on the streets under a bridge, we all are one hundred times better off than the average person in the undeveloping countries. Well, actually, truth be told, even those who are living under bridges in America are better off than the vast majority in other countries. They can have access to some programs and if not anything else, the food found in garbage cans and dumpsters in the US alone would feed entire nations!
Anyway, getting back to the older children that are often times not adopted. I feel a deep guilt that I am not brave enough to be adopting these children. Instead, I am going with my selfish wants. Those wants of 90% of all adoptive parents...we want the adorable infants or young toddlers. I cringe each time I read a post (on a group I belong to on adoption) from someone who writes asking "how long is the wait for an infant" or "What agency has the most babies". If we are so arrogant to insist on only adopting infants, we cannot be angry when we have to wait four, six, twelve, sixteen months + for a referral! When a country shuts it's doors to intercountry adoptions, is it because there are too few babies to meet the demand? When the babies are all gone and the older children are left, what else is there to do? I have so much more to say on this but I won't now.
Each time someone has told Andrew and I that we are "saints" (and yes, this is the actual phrase) for "doing this" I cringe again. I reassure them that "No, we are not". We are selfishly wanting more children and if we were "saints" we would be sponsoring more, adopting the children with HIV/AIDS (we have the life saving medicines here that they may never live to see in their own country), TB, Amputee's, little ones with cleft palates (which we all know is a correctable surgery here in the states), OR, *gasp* eight year old energetic, ornery boys who may never have a family to call his own!
I've been praying that God will give me wisdom as well as peace knowing He is in charge and will direct the orphanage personnel to the children that God has chosen for us.
I should go read my book, huh? As I've said before, blogging is SO therapeutic! (So how come I don't feel any better?) =)
Drubek
1 comment:
Hi Rebecca, Danita shared your blog with me. We, too, are adopting from Ethiopia, God willing, right?! Our agency is CHSFS. Our homestudy has been submitted to our agency, which is reviewing it right now. We hope to be a 'waiting family' within the next week. I want you to know that I'm trying to get through "There is No Me Without You" right now. What can I say? I've put it down and walked away from it several times, in tears. My husband assures me that he's read it (in tears, too) and 'in a few more pages' it gets easier. Where do you live? I cannot remember what Danita said (we met at my garage sale)! Oh, we have requested (ugh, that always sounds so wrong) a boy age 2-4 or siblings under 4. Browse my blog, if you want (to see me and my family). I think by my just posting, you can find me, right? If not, send me a note.
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