Giving Up

Yesterday I started what for most people is Lent...for me, it's inspired by Lent, but since I am not Catholic, it is a personal journey to getting healthier, losing those 6 holiday induced pounds and getting mentally out of a little funk I've been holding on to for a few months.

For the next 39 1/2 days, I am giving up all beverages except coffee and water. Yes. It is going to get hard for me at times, I'm sure. Especially eating at restaurants. But, I know through prayer and the support of my family, I will persevere.

One of the pastors at my church sends out a weekly message via email entitled Worship Thoughts For Busy Parents. Her thoughts are always so inspirational and uplifting. I always gain a true blessing by her devotionals. Please read this weeks message:

For many Christian faith traditions, this week marks the beginning of Lent. Lent, in church history, is typically the 40 or so days before Easter. The idea is to sacrifice something in your own life so as to better identify with what Christ went through (specifically with his 40 days in the wilderness leading up to his ministry).

In Adventism we don't adhere to a liturgical calendar. Lent is not mentioned in the Bible and is not necessary for a faithful life with Christ. The spiritual discipline of fasting (giving up something for a period of time, whether food or some other life-regularity), however, has unfortunately been lost to many of us.

In the gospels, Christ refers to the life of following Him to be challenging. Specifically He says: "... If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it." (Luke 9:23, 24). When I look at my life as a Christian, I see lots of blessings (which are wonderful and I praise God for) but I don't see a lot of sacrifice. It is so easy for me to live comfortably as a Christian. Maybe too easy.

Fasting isn't about focusing on myself or about working to earn God's favor. For me, it is about recognizing that God has blessed and that so many things I consider "needs" are really "wants". My life is God's, and all I have belongs to God. What do I need to give up in order to truly appreciate? What have I been hoarding that needs to be turned over to God? I know from past experience that when I do finally give what I have kept as "mine" to God, God does more amazing things with it than I could ever have even dreamed of on my own.

Have you ever fasted? Beyond giving up food, is there an area of your life that is in excess that God is asking you to give up control? There is another way to look at fasting as well. Giving negative mental habits is a form of fasting. Pessimism, negativity, self-loathing, judgmentalism (just a few things I am too often guilty of) can be given to God as a form of fasting as well. For the next few weeks, maybe you need to give up feeling unloved by God? Give up being hard on yourself? Accept that you are the beloved child of God? I don't know what it is for you, but as we are coming up to Easter, think about what you can do to give your life more fully to the God who came to earth and gave His own life for you.

Grace & Peace,

Pastor Jana Lee

Blogging issues!

Ugh. Don't know why but my blog is having issues and as you'll notice by my recent birthday tribute to my sweet 16 year old, the font layout is wierding out!!!

16 years ago...

There was no snow on the ground but weather people were predicting it was coming. I was 39 weeks pregnant & scheduled for a routine exam by my amazingOB, Dr. Nakamura.

My mom and I headed into town for my exam. On the way, it started snowing. During my appointment, it snowed so much that Dr. Nakamura decided to admit me into the hospital because he didn't want us to venture home in that weather. Besides, that little baby in my tummy was trying to come out 10 days early!

After being admitted, Drs. orders were to WALK, WALK and then WALK some more. Throughout the course of the day, my mom and I had discovered every inch of that hospital as well as the mall across the street, which had access to the hospital via a winding tunnel. By late afternoon when Andrew could get off work, I was so through (!!) with walking and just wanted to sleep. That sweet little girl nestled inside of me was also worn out and wasn't moving much, but enough so that I was dilated to 8.

During the course of my day, I made plans to meet up with my best friend and her husband for ice cream. It sounded like a great idea at the time...But good thing my smart Doctor kept me at the hospital. I was dilating and effacing all over the place and doing all that gobbily gook that you do when about to give birth to something that should not come out of such a small space. Just before my BFF walked through the door, the nurse had broken my water. In walks BFF and hubby as I stood up...and KERSPLATTTT!!! There went this massive flood, all over the floor.

I truly almost barfed from embarrassment. What was this new and fairly horrifying experience? I'd heard once that if you are in a supermarket and your water breaks, grab a jar of pickles and throw on the floor. Nobody will know it was you. *(Except they'll all wonder why you pee'd your pants, too!!)

The Epidural was an EPIC FAIL and the anesthesiologist decided to go home and not tell anyone he had a patient in active labor (how did he get away with that??). My memory gets foggy after that. I think the pain was so unbearable & I vaguely recall the Dr. saying that “everyone poops during delivery, even if they swear they did not”.

Finally the time came to get that kid outta there! After what seemed like forever (and a TON of pain), a tiny, very blue, goopy baby arrived! Dr. Nakamura told my husband, "If you're going to cut the umbilical cord, DO IT NOW!!" He pulled the cord gently and quickly from around her little neck so she could breathe easier. Her daddy cut the cord and was surprised at how difficult and strangely rope like it really was. The nurse rushed that baby girl away and helped to get her coloring a bit better (spanked her?? LOL j/k). Apgar was a 2, then jumped miraculously up to an 8. It was only then that they told me her cord had been wrapped around her neck twice!

When we got to hold that precious baby girl, her daddy took one look at her and said "Yes, She is Our Chloe Drew!!" (He had been against that name for months but agreed it was better than Ann Drew, which my sister had suggested!). God gave us the most miraculous and wonderful first baby we could have ever asked for. She is a joy and I can see great things in her future. Happy 16th Birthday to our first born. She makes us very proud. ~The End...or...is it just the beginning?

Girls with Curls site.

Found this awesome site dedicated to styling black curls on little girls. I loved it so much I wanted to share. I am lazy when it comes to styling my Miss Ruby's hair. I'm so thankful that her hair is easy and beautiful already.

http://www.happygirlhair.com/

New Year. New Focus.

Blogging occasionally crosses my mind and I think about writing again. But seriously, who has the time? Who really reads this stuff?! I got a beautiful comment the other day by "anonymous". It simply said "Maybe the Ferguson's could find time to give an annual update? ;)" that made my day. It also made me cringe just a bit because it reminded me that someone was actually reading and wanting more. Soooo. Here I am.

My focus is going to change. I will not be dedicating this blog to the sole upkeep and parenting of my children. My.Adopted.Children. Specifically. In fact, I would like to remove the "A" word (Adoption) almost completely from my vocabulary. It doesn't really serve much purpose, other than to describe how our little family became complete (if it is?). And, using that word isn't very useful in every day conversation unless it's educating in a positive manner and helping someone else in their journey to expanding their lives through "a..." The main reason I hope to use the word a lot less is so that members of my family don't feel exclusive in one manner or another. We are all ONE. Team Ferguson. That's our goal. Work together, Play together, Irritate, Aggravate, Make Up, Love and Enjoy Life To The Fullest. There are already so many things to take away from these beautiful things. Oh, be sure, I will have healthy doses of toddler moments. Teen troubles and possibly even spousal debates! ;) All of which, I hope to add some humor and remind others that being human can totally suck but with a positive attitude, there is always a brighter side. (And if I can't find the sunshine, I will still be brutally honest).

So, with very little adieu, Cheers to my 'new' blog focusing on my utterly boring life and how I cope. Mom to 2 of the hardest age groups. Two teens & Two toddlers. Can you say "Yikes!" with me? Oh. And if that wasn't enough...I've been married to my VERY type A handsome hubby for almost 21 years.

Fantabulously Yours,

Red(hotmama)

Ruby's 3rd Birthday...

March has entered with quite a few surprises. We've had an amazing amount of snowfall, school closures because of it and several birthdays...not to mention Andrew and I will celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary this coming week! Whew.

My beautiful mother turns 75 tomorrow. She doesn't act or look a day over 60. She is a true inspiration. Always active and still walks about 5 miles every day...even in the 10 below weather of South Dakota! I wish she was here so I could help her celebrate...but she would say that I should be there instead because she was here last! That's my mom!

Our precious Ruby Kalkidan turned a big 3 years old yesterday! My what a grown up little person she thinks she is! Only with a lack for words when she's in public, our little dynamo had the whole birthday thing figured out. She asked all week when she would get her birthday cake and she asked for candy for her special supper. We had gone to a birthday party earlier in the week and she asked why everyone hadn't sung Happy Birthday to her instead! She even said that the gift we were taking to that birthday boy was hers and he was going to give it to her at the party! When March 10 finally arrived, she knew she was 3 years old and that she would get presents, cake and she was really hoping for candy. That last thing really cracks me up considering she doesn't even really like sweets! It's the whole glorious idea of it, I think. All the pretty colors, shapes and mystery of it all!

GrandmaRee sent her a wonderful little tea set, exactly what she wanted! Daddy got her a kite...again, something she's been begging for! I got her a couple of things she can take apart and put back together. She loves her toy drill and the tools it comes with. She also likes her toy cash register and money. But we have to keep the money away from Roman or else he will destroy it or put the coins in his mouth! Still working on that one!

Ruby also got herself something! She is almost done with diapers! YAY! A few accidents here and there but basically only wearing diapers at nap and bedtimes.

I'm getting payback big time...My 2 1/2 and 3 year olds still in diapers! ICK...when my older two were little, I so prided myself (and yes, gloated) over the fact that my kids had been PT'ed since they were under 2 years old. Heck, they were easy little trainers! I probably didn't hardly contribute to it. They just didn't want to be in diapers anymore...but the second time around?! NOPE! Ruby and Roman both have been pretty content to potty in their diapers and not tell a soul.

Roman is finally saying a lot. He tells me to 'sit down', 'what happened?!', 'what are you doing?', 'Where are you going?', etc. Most of what he says is still intelligible but he's making huge strides. Of course, his favorite word is "NO!" But he is the most polite little person I've ever known. He also will say (appropriately and after each time he gets something) "Thank you" and usually ends it with that person's name..."Thank you, Mom!" "Thank you, Dad", etc...He also says "Your welcome" and a favorite around here "I love you!" He is totally MY boy. I always tell him there's nothing wrong with being a mommy's boy! I am loving it!

To celebrate (and just get a break!) our glorious 20th anniversary will be spent in (sunny??) Southern California at Disneyland without kids! I think we are going to totally rock the park for 2 days! We'll have a romantic dinner and just relax and enjoy the time...but it will feel strange!

I have to say though, I've totally been needing a break. Having 4 kids, feeling like I'm being stretched in every direction but my scenery never changes is weighing on me! Honestly, my very precious toddlers are definitely acting 2 & 3 and giving me wrinkles! My teenagers are causing my hair to turn grayer with each passing moment. If I had to list each individual thing that my 12 year old says he "hates", it would take all night to type this! Thank goodness he has the ability (and uses it!) to change his attitude rather quickly! Just the thought that my 15 year old will soon be driving, dating and leaving the house sooner than I can blink just gives me slight panic attacks. I got married at age 20. That is just five years older than she is. WOW. I've been married now for half my life! My daughter says that is "just weird!"

SO, yes...I need a little break from mommy-hood and am gladly going on a Disneyland trip with my honey minus the kids!

Keeping up with this blog is almost useless! I wish I was more diligent. I feel like there is so much to share but when I sit down to type, the words are just not there...or they don't come out as eloquently as I'd like.

I guess it's just a heart weary week...The Ministry Of Womens Affairs in Ethiopia has decided to only process 5 adoption cases per week and this will sadly ensure that orphans and institutionalized children will stay in orphanages years longer than what they would have under the old plan. Some site that the work load was too great so they made this change...others say that this will help cut back on anything unethical. I just know it will hurt waiting families and hinder the cases already pending. Families will not be able to bring home their children that they already have seen pictures of and even possibly held tight in their arms. This will not allow children to find their forever homes, whether in America, France or elsewhere.

In a perfect world, each child would be raised by their own loving biological family...when that isn't the case, government officials need to create a healthy balance of what is BEST...and making these children wait in orphan care, without loving parents, proper clothing, basic necessities and food is a shame. I believe that Ethiopia has made some wise choices in the past for the parentless children of their country. I pray that they will review the decisions they have made this week and over turn them. I believe that Ethiopian orphanages for the most part are some of the most caring in the world. In general, they love the children and only want what is best. They nurture the children as best as they can and try to provide some form of education and work ethic. None of these things can compare to a family that they can call their own, though!

Japan had a massive earthquake, followed by an almost instantaneous tsunami which has most certainly killed thousands. Putting myself in that situation...thinking of the terror...is unimaginable. Just breaks my heart. I am broken, yet why?! I should be rejoicing that I am so very, very blessed. I have my family, my health, financials in decent order and a very comfortable life...

I am comforted by the beautiful text out of the Bible. John 14: 1-4 says:

¹ “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God^{a]" style="font-size: 0.75em; line-height: 0.5em; ">[a]}; believe also in me. ² My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you?³ And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. ⁴ You know the way to the place where I am going.” AMEN!

Photo of Andrew and I after counting the donations! See below for full text.