Are you new?! Nope...been coming here for a long time...

I honestly enjoy meeting new people but I know this isn't the case for everyone. Raising my kids, I've tried to teach them that there should always be room in our hearts for a new friend.

When there is a new kid in their classroom, I'm nosy and ask my children to find out more about that person. Where did they go to school before they joined their class? Do they go to church? If so, where? Has anyone included them in their circle of friends? And so on. Often, my children have answered most of my questions with "I dunno!" But I still encourage them to find out...but more importantly, to be kind to them and to invite them into their circle of friends. Sometimes this works out well and new friends are found all around. Sometimes they find out that a new friendship is not possible due to personality conflicts. But I would hope that everyone feels like they did something to make the other feel welcome. If a new friendship is formed, then everyone wins. And if not, at least they tried.

Awhile back, there was a child who we got to know and invited to several outings. At first it seemed to work out as the kids hit it off well. But a few weeks later, this child made other friends and my child was not included in that circle. Now, years later, my child has realized that new friendships aren't always possible. Sometimes the other child can be hard to get to know. Sometimes they form their own cliques where others aren't included (which turned out to be the case with this child). At least that child did not enter a new environment & feel invisible or bullied, as so often happens when a child changes schools.

As a parent, I'm not comforted by the closed circles of friends I see at my kids schools. Those groups that have been together since Kindergarten and appear to be exclusive. The ones that do not change from year to year, yet new kids come and go. Do these kids know what they are missing out on? Do they know the heartbreak that many classmates go through when they are not even thought of when birthday parties are planned and invites are given out? Are they taught to care? Isn't it our job as parents to encourage our children to be more like Christ, accepting others and opening up our lives to include them? Is it a lack of tolerance? Maybe we're so busy, it's just easier to go through the years without going out of our way.

So what about adults? Are we exempt from including others? How often do we have our comfortable circle of friends and we're very content in the closed familiarity of it. There are book clubs, coffee outings, Saturday lunches, even prayer groups that seem exclusive. Besides waving hello or small talk in passing at the grocery store, when is the last time we truly visited with someone we don't usually hang out with?

Don't get me wrong. It's important that we all form lasting, nurturing bonds and have lifelong, best friends. I think it's healthy & pretty wonderful. But I also think it's incredibly close minded to not give others a chance. We can't leave it up to someone else to make the first move. We might be missing out on someone pretty amazing. We might be missing out on a lifetime of friendship.

Paper Prayers

(Paraphrased from the book Adventures In Prayer by Catherine Marshall)

When bringing our prayer requests to the Lord, write them on pieces of paper. Ask outright what the request is. Pray over the pieces of paper, asking Jesus' mind on them, sifting out anything superficial or selfish until we have reached the kernel of the Spirit's hopes and dreams for this particular person or wish. Then, insert each piece between the pages of your favorite Bible, even specifically in between the pages of your favorite texts - Signifying that you are leaving them completely in God's care & keeping.

It is wonderful to go back sometime in the future and find these slips of paper & see how the Lord had blessed and answered each prayer.

(I actually did this in 1990 when Andrew and I had broken up while we were dating. I was so broken hearted. I knew he was the one for me so why did God allow him to dump me?! We were broken up for a year...After making myself sick with doubt, worry and heartache during that time, I followed these steps and completely left it up to God. A few years later after we were married, I discovered that Bible and the pieces of paper I had placed there...21 years of marriage later, I see how God was always in charge...I just had to let Him do what He needed to!)

Bring "N" Home

Since dropping off on my blogging for sooooo long, I know I've also lost a lot of readers. Or maybe it's not about me at all...we are all very busy. Raising our children, working, playing, stressing about daily life, fundraising....Yep. Fundraising.

When we were in Ethiopia 3 years ago, we met the most incredibly adorable little boy. He was 4 years old and a complete lover. Each morning he would run into my arms, cover my neck with kisses and hug on me like we belonged together. The last day we were there, I inquired about this child's status. He had been abandoned and was HIV+. I cried. The secretary at the orphanage cried. I felt like I was going to leave behind my child! It was heartbreaking. THIS CHILD IS UNIQUE BECAUSE HE'S SO MEMORABLE. Out of an entire orphanage, he was the only child gregarious enough to seek us out.Each.And.Every.Day.

Over the past 3 years, I've thought of this child often. I've held him up before God in prayer. I even asked some of my Ethiopian contacts to check up on him and was able to get reports a few times per year...just making sure he was alive and healthy. HIV+ children do not get adequate care in 3rd world countries (if they receive medicine at all) and the older a child get's, the less "wanted" they are by potential adoptive parents, no matter what they're health status is. Knowing that little "N" was now 8 years old, destined to be in orphan care until his early teens then likely released onto the streets to beg was what he was heading for.

Then, in the past month, I started having very strong feelings that I needed to check on "N" again...I was filled with a sense of urgency. So, each day I brought him before the Lord, asking what I was supposed to do. What was expected of me? Why was I having such a strong desire to look him up again. Were we supposed to adopt him? Were we supposed to start some kind of non profit to help him and others in his same situation? I just didn't know, so I began to pray and ask God to show me. To open whatever door was His will...but just as importantly, that WE be willing to heed the call, as scary as it might be.

A call to the agency we used to bring home Ruby and Roman brought the news that "N" had been matched with a waiting family...but I had already gotten "solid" confirmation from a friend in Ethiopia that "N" was not matched and he was available for adoption. Conflicting reports made me just want to dig deeper because I had to know for sure this child's status. So I posted a simple paragraph on one of the Facebook message boards asking if anyone knew this boy and what his status was. Within a few minutes, I had my answer. I was amazed how quickly someone responded...actually, several people responded. This child had touched the lives of so many others! A lady by the name of Hannah said that yes, indeed, her family was waiting to bring "N" home...I was delighted! After a few private messages back and forth, and validating her authenticity of their pending adoption of "N", I told her my story & the bond I felt with "her" little boy...She did not respond for a couple of days. You see, I had freaked her out a bit!

When we talked again, she said how she had been feeling guilty about holding on to a child when someone else might be able to get him home sooner. She had been praying that somehow God would show her direction. Funding was standing in the way and her family had exhausted their resources. When I assured her I was in no position to adopt "N" & I was merely trying to figure out how best to help her, we realized clearly what we could mean to each other.

With this little boy's best interest in mind, we have set up a fund to raise money to get him home to his waiting family as soon as possible. At this point, money is one of the biggest factors standing in the way. Of course, there is paperwork and court dates still to be passed...but anyone in the adoption community knows that the almighty dollar is the hardest thing to come up with, and usually, a lot of it needs to arrive. At this point, we are hoping to raise about $14,000 more to complete little "N's" paperwork, court dates and Hannah & her husband, Rob's travel expenses.

If you are in a position to help in any way ($1, $5, $10...anything helps), please click on the link or copy and paste, go to the site we've set up at

www.gofundme.com/bringnattyhome

This child is not getting adequate meds for his HIV status and the orphanage that he's living in is also under pressure from the government. There have been fears expressed that they will be shut down. It is our prayer that he gets home as soon as possible. Please join us in this prayer. If you feel impressed to give, we humbly thank you in advance!

Swinging from the rafters

I'm battling a cold. My two youngest are stir crazy and completely bored from staying indoors this early Spring. My oldest is getting very poor grades from playing catch up from our 2 vacations this school year. I'm feeling overwhelmed and frankly, exhausted.

A few hours ago I caught my little ones standing on the dining room table, pulling the ceiling fan chain over and over, practically hanging from it. Zing, zang, zing, zang...O yeah. It's one of those days. These are the kinds of days/weeks where I say to myself "Self, there is a little boy in Ethiopia who is waiting for his family. Are you his mommy??!!" At to which, I answer often "Yes, I am!"..."No, I'm not!"..."Yes, I am! Oh Dear Lord. Am I? Show me the way"...

We met this little boy 3 years ago when we were bringing home R&R. He fell in love with me and of course, I reciprocated his warmth & affection. I was smitten. He took pieces of my heart and I hope he still holds them like I do his...but he was only 4. I must remind myself that he probably took to many mommies and daddy's over the past few years. He is now 7...where he is I do not know. Prayerfully I hope that he has actually found his forever family. Prayerfully I hope he hasn't so he can come home to us. Prayerfully I ask "What is it I really want...oops, but more importantly Lord, what is it that YOU want for me?!"

My thoughts and emotions are swinging from the rafters it seems. At this point, these idea's are mostly all my own. My dear hubby does not share in the notion that we should have another little mouth to feed. I know that if we open our hearts and minds, anything can happen...and I am open to...anything.

Giving Up

Yesterday I started what for most people is Lent...for me, it's inspired by Lent, but since I am not Catholic, it is a personal journey to getting healthier, losing those 6 holiday induced pounds and getting mentally out of a little funk I've been holding on to for a few months.

For the next 39 1/2 days, I am giving up all beverages except coffee and water. Yes. It is going to get hard for me at times, I'm sure. Especially eating at restaurants. But, I know through prayer and the support of my family, I will persevere.

One of the pastors at my church sends out a weekly message via email entitled Worship Thoughts For Busy Parents. Her thoughts are always so inspirational and uplifting. I always gain a true blessing by her devotionals. Please read this weeks message:

For many Christian faith traditions, this week marks the beginning of Lent. Lent, in church history, is typically the 40 or so days before Easter. The idea is to sacrifice something in your own life so as to better identify with what Christ went through (specifically with his 40 days in the wilderness leading up to his ministry).

In Adventism we don't adhere to a liturgical calendar. Lent is not mentioned in the Bible and is not necessary for a faithful life with Christ. The spiritual discipline of fasting (giving up something for a period of time, whether food or some other life-regularity), however, has unfortunately been lost to many of us.

In the gospels, Christ refers to the life of following Him to be challenging. Specifically He says: "... If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it." (Luke 9:23, 24). When I look at my life as a Christian, I see lots of blessings (which are wonderful and I praise God for) but I don't see a lot of sacrifice. It is so easy for me to live comfortably as a Christian. Maybe too easy.

Fasting isn't about focusing on myself or about working to earn God's favor. For me, it is about recognizing that God has blessed and that so many things I consider "needs" are really "wants". My life is God's, and all I have belongs to God. What do I need to give up in order to truly appreciate? What have I been hoarding that needs to be turned over to God? I know from past experience that when I do finally give what I have kept as "mine" to God, God does more amazing things with it than I could ever have even dreamed of on my own.

Have you ever fasted? Beyond giving up food, is there an area of your life that is in excess that God is asking you to give up control? There is another way to look at fasting as well. Giving negative mental habits is a form of fasting. Pessimism, negativity, self-loathing, judgmentalism (just a few things I am too often guilty of) can be given to God as a form of fasting as well. For the next few weeks, maybe you need to give up feeling unloved by God? Give up being hard on yourself? Accept that you are the beloved child of God? I don't know what it is for you, but as we are coming up to Easter, think about what you can do to give your life more fully to the God who came to earth and gave His own life for you.

Grace & Peace,

Pastor Jana Lee

Blogging issues!

Ugh. Don't know why but my blog is having issues and as you'll notice by my recent birthday tribute to my sweet 16 year old, the font layout is wierding out!!!

16 years ago...

There was no snow on the ground but weather people were predicting it was coming. I was 39 weeks pregnant & scheduled for a routine exam by my amazingOB, Dr. Nakamura.

My mom and I headed into town for my exam. On the way, it started snowing. During my appointment, it snowed so much that Dr. Nakamura decided to admit me into the hospital because he didn't want us to venture home in that weather. Besides, that little baby in my tummy was trying to come out 10 days early!

After being admitted, Drs. orders were to WALK, WALK and then WALK some more. Throughout the course of the day, my mom and I had discovered every inch of that hospital as well as the mall across the street, which had access to the hospital via a winding tunnel. By late afternoon when Andrew could get off work, I was so through (!!) with walking and just wanted to sleep. That sweet little girl nestled inside of me was also worn out and wasn't moving much, but enough so that I was dilated to 8.

During the course of my day, I made plans to meet up with my best friend and her husband for ice cream. It sounded like a great idea at the time...But good thing my smart Doctor kept me at the hospital. I was dilating and effacing all over the place and doing all that gobbily gook that you do when about to give birth to something that should not come out of such a small space. Just before my BFF walked through the door, the nurse had broken my water. In walks BFF and hubby as I stood up...and KERSPLATTTT!!! There went this massive flood, all over the floor.

I truly almost barfed from embarrassment. What was this new and fairly horrifying experience? I'd heard once that if you are in a supermarket and your water breaks, grab a jar of pickles and throw on the floor. Nobody will know it was you. *(Except they'll all wonder why you pee'd your pants, too!!)

The Epidural was an EPIC FAIL and the anesthesiologist decided to go home and not tell anyone he had a patient in active labor (how did he get away with that??). My memory gets foggy after that. I think the pain was so unbearable & I vaguely recall the Dr. saying that “everyone poops during delivery, even if they swear they did not”.

Finally the time came to get that kid outta there! After what seemed like forever (and a TON of pain), a tiny, very blue, goopy baby arrived! Dr. Nakamura told my husband, "If you're going to cut the umbilical cord, DO IT NOW!!" He pulled the cord gently and quickly from around her little neck so she could breathe easier. Her daddy cut the cord and was surprised at how difficult and strangely rope like it really was. The nurse rushed that baby girl away and helped to get her coloring a bit better (spanked her?? LOL j/k). Apgar was a 2, then jumped miraculously up to an 8. It was only then that they told me her cord had been wrapped around her neck twice!

When we got to hold that precious baby girl, her daddy took one look at her and said "Yes, She is Our Chloe Drew!!" (He had been against that name for months but agreed it was better than Ann Drew, which my sister had suggested!). God gave us the most miraculous and wonderful first baby we could have ever asked for. She is a joy and I can see great things in her future. Happy 16th Birthday to our first born. She makes us very proud. ~The End...or...is it just the beginning?

Girls with Curls site.

Found this awesome site dedicated to styling black curls on little girls. I loved it so much I wanted to share. I am lazy when it comes to styling my Miss Ruby's hair. I'm so thankful that her hair is easy and beautiful already.

http://www.happygirlhair.com/

New Year. New Focus.

Blogging occasionally crosses my mind and I think about writing again. But seriously, who has the time? Who really reads this stuff?! I got a beautiful comment the other day by "anonymous". It simply said "Maybe the Ferguson's could find time to give an annual update? ;)" that made my day. It also made me cringe just a bit because it reminded me that someone was actually reading and wanting more. Soooo. Here I am.

My focus is going to change. I will not be dedicating this blog to the sole upkeep and parenting of my children. My.Adopted.Children. Specifically. In fact, I would like to remove the "A" word (Adoption) almost completely from my vocabulary. It doesn't really serve much purpose, other than to describe how our little family became complete (if it is?). And, using that word isn't very useful in every day conversation unless it's educating in a positive manner and helping someone else in their journey to expanding their lives through "a..." The main reason I hope to use the word a lot less is so that members of my family don't feel exclusive in one manner or another. We are all ONE. Team Ferguson. That's our goal. Work together, Play together, Irritate, Aggravate, Make Up, Love and Enjoy Life To The Fullest. There are already so many things to take away from these beautiful things. Oh, be sure, I will have healthy doses of toddler moments. Teen troubles and possibly even spousal debates! ;) All of which, I hope to add some humor and remind others that being human can totally suck but with a positive attitude, there is always a brighter side. (And if I can't find the sunshine, I will still be brutally honest).

So, with very little adieu, Cheers to my 'new' blog focusing on my utterly boring life and how I cope. Mom to 2 of the hardest age groups. Two teens & Two toddlers. Can you say "Yikes!" with me? Oh. And if that wasn't enough...I've been married to my VERY type A handsome hubby for almost 21 years.

Fantabulously Yours,

Red(hotmama)

Ruby's 3rd Birthday...

March has entered with quite a few surprises. We've had an amazing amount of snowfall, school closures because of it and several birthdays...not to mention Andrew and I will celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary this coming week! Whew.

My beautiful mother turns 75 tomorrow. She doesn't act or look a day over 60. She is a true inspiration. Always active and still walks about 5 miles every day...even in the 10 below weather of South Dakota! I wish she was here so I could help her celebrate...but she would say that I should be there instead because she was here last! That's my mom!

Our precious Ruby Kalkidan turned a big 3 years old yesterday! My what a grown up little person she thinks she is! Only with a lack for words when she's in public, our little dynamo had the whole birthday thing figured out. She asked all week when she would get her birthday cake and she asked for candy for her special supper. We had gone to a birthday party earlier in the week and she asked why everyone hadn't sung Happy Birthday to her instead! She even said that the gift we were taking to that birthday boy was hers and he was going to give it to her at the party! When March 10 finally arrived, she knew she was 3 years old and that she would get presents, cake and she was really hoping for candy. That last thing really cracks me up considering she doesn't even really like sweets! It's the whole glorious idea of it, I think. All the pretty colors, shapes and mystery of it all!

GrandmaRee sent her a wonderful little tea set, exactly what she wanted! Daddy got her a kite...again, something she's been begging for! I got her a couple of things she can take apart and put back together. She loves her toy drill and the tools it comes with. She also likes her toy cash register and money. But we have to keep the money away from Roman or else he will destroy it or put the coins in his mouth! Still working on that one!

Ruby also got herself something! She is almost done with diapers! YAY! A few accidents here and there but basically only wearing diapers at nap and bedtimes.

I'm getting payback big time...My 2 1/2 and 3 year olds still in diapers! ICK...when my older two were little, I so prided myself (and yes, gloated) over the fact that my kids had been PT'ed since they were under 2 years old. Heck, they were easy little trainers! I probably didn't hardly contribute to it. They just didn't want to be in diapers anymore...but the second time around?! NOPE! Ruby and Roman both have been pretty content to potty in their diapers and not tell a soul.

Roman is finally saying a lot. He tells me to 'sit down', 'what happened?!', 'what are you doing?', 'Where are you going?', etc. Most of what he says is still intelligible but he's making huge strides. Of course, his favorite word is "NO!" But he is the most polite little person I've ever known. He also will say (appropriately and after each time he gets something) "Thank you" and usually ends it with that person's name..."Thank you, Mom!" "Thank you, Dad", etc...He also says "Your welcome" and a favorite around here "I love you!" He is totally MY boy. I always tell him there's nothing wrong with being a mommy's boy! I am loving it!

To celebrate (and just get a break!) our glorious 20th anniversary will be spent in (sunny??) Southern California at Disneyland without kids! I think we are going to totally rock the park for 2 days! We'll have a romantic dinner and just relax and enjoy the time...but it will feel strange!

I have to say though, I've totally been needing a break. Having 4 kids, feeling like I'm being stretched in every direction but my scenery never changes is weighing on me! Honestly, my very precious toddlers are definitely acting 2 & 3 and giving me wrinkles! My teenagers are causing my hair to turn grayer with each passing moment. If I had to list each individual thing that my 12 year old says he "hates", it would take all night to type this! Thank goodness he has the ability (and uses it!) to change his attitude rather quickly! Just the thought that my 15 year old will soon be driving, dating and leaving the house sooner than I can blink just gives me slight panic attacks. I got married at age 20. That is just five years older than she is. WOW. I've been married now for half my life! My daughter says that is "just weird!"

SO, yes...I need a little break from mommy-hood and am gladly going on a Disneyland trip with my honey minus the kids!

Keeping up with this blog is almost useless! I wish I was more diligent. I feel like there is so much to share but when I sit down to type, the words are just not there...or they don't come out as eloquently as I'd like.

I guess it's just a heart weary week...The Ministry Of Womens Affairs in Ethiopia has decided to only process 5 adoption cases per week and this will sadly ensure that orphans and institutionalized children will stay in orphanages years longer than what they would have under the old plan. Some site that the work load was too great so they made this change...others say that this will help cut back on anything unethical. I just know it will hurt waiting families and hinder the cases already pending. Families will not be able to bring home their children that they already have seen pictures of and even possibly held tight in their arms. This will not allow children to find their forever homes, whether in America, France or elsewhere.

In a perfect world, each child would be raised by their own loving biological family...when that isn't the case, government officials need to create a healthy balance of what is BEST...and making these children wait in orphan care, without loving parents, proper clothing, basic necessities and food is a shame. I believe that Ethiopia has made some wise choices in the past for the parentless children of their country. I pray that they will review the decisions they have made this week and over turn them. I believe that Ethiopian orphanages for the most part are some of the most caring in the world. In general, they love the children and only want what is best. They nurture the children as best as they can and try to provide some form of education and work ethic. None of these things can compare to a family that they can call their own, though!

Japan had a massive earthquake, followed by an almost instantaneous tsunami which has most certainly killed thousands. Putting myself in that situation...thinking of the terror...is unimaginable. Just breaks my heart. I am broken, yet why?! I should be rejoicing that I am so very, very blessed. I have my family, my health, financials in decent order and a very comfortable life...

I am comforted by the beautiful text out of the Bible. John 14: 1-4 says:

¹ “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God^{a]" style="font-size: 0.75em; line-height: 0.5em; ">[a]}; believe also in me. ² My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you?³ And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. ⁴ You know the way to the place where I am going.” AMEN!

Photo of Andrew and I after counting the donations! See below for full text.

My 40th Birthday Bash!!

My 40^th Birthday/Fundraiser for Ethiopian Orphan Relief

After my husband, Andrew, informed me that I would indeed have a 40^th Birthday party against my wishes, my controlling side took over and tried to accept it.

Informing him right back that the idea of a surprise party absolutely made me cringe and the thought of a kazillion gag gifts was an even worse thought, he “allowed” me (tongue in cheek) to plan and direct my own party. Recalling the huge gift bag of black and white ‘over the hill’ gifts we still had from his 40^th last year, I knew my party had to be different. The waste of money going into such things just disgusted me…and yes, I planned his surprise party.

Recently, we were delighted and surprised with pictures in an email of our daughter, Ruby’s birth mom. Something we did not know existed! This really touched my heart in ways I cannot describe. Looking into the face of a woman who selflessly gave up her infant child so they both could have a better life, made my heart ache in good and bad ways. I knew we have to be more than just parents to Ruby and Roman. We have to be accountable to the children still there. The faces that may never see a forever family. (“Whether You Turn To The Right Or To The Left, Your Ears Will Hear A Voice Behind You Saying ~ This Is The Way, Walk In It”. Isaiah 30:21)

I did think of several ways to usher in my big 4-0. Just nothing really interested me. I even considered a rousing Bunko night but something just didn’t really click. After reading about my favorite charity, Ethiopian Orphan Relief (EOR), holding their annual auction in May, I knew what my party would be about. Now, just convincing my friends and family to join in! I started by creating an open event on Facebook and inviting pretty much everyone on my friends list to my birthday party/fundraiser for EOR. I had a goal of $440 that I hoped to reach in donations. A lot of people who RSVP’d said “no” and there were a lot who didn’t even respond. I was really dismayed and prayerfully took it to God, asking Him to show up to the party and bless the attendee’s and the donation pot. At this point, I didn’t even have a place to hold the party. Not knowing how many people to expect was difficult to plan for. My very dear childhood friend offered to have it at her home and this was the first blessing of many to come.

Andrew planned a raffle, selling tickets for $1 each. The prizes were $100 certificate to Galeotti’s Restaurant in Battle Ground, $50 gift card for Barnes and Noble book store and $30 to Bernie’s Southern Bistro in Portland. These items were all graciously donated. Another blessing!

The night of the party, I was still pretty much in the dark about how many people would show up. We provided appetizers, beverages and birthday cake, of course. We hired a wonderful young pianist who goes to school with my daughter, Cody Shearer to play piano as our live entertainment and everything had come together just beautifully. Friends started showing up here and there until the house was full. I was just overwhelmed with joy and the outpouring of love from everyone. The raffle bag was filling up with tickets and the donation jar was getting more and more green stuff and checks with each family. It was truly a birthday celebration I will never forget…the best one ever. Not just because people gave money but because they cared enough to support an idea. Did my friends need to donate in order to attend? NO, but anything helped and YES, we did accept pennies, dimes and nickels. At the end of the night, not only did God show up, but He had brought a flock of Angels with Him! When Andrew counted the donations there was $702 in the jar! I had passed my goal by $262.00! I was overcome with emotion and cried in sheer joy. I really was speechless and those who know me know that doesn’t happen often!

Throughout the following week, donations continued to come in either online or by people stopping me in the parking lot when I’d drop my 7^th grader off for school.

At this writing, we have over $1100 in donations and another $100 pledged. The company my father in law works for has agreed to match a portion of the donations, bringing another $700 to the pot! God Is Good All The Time!!

The donations will go to a program EOR partners with called Children’s Heaven. Children’s Heaven is dedicated to improving the lives of orphaned girls who have lost one or both parents to the AIDS epidemic. It gives the girls a safe environment, meals, education, basic needs, and spiritual guidance, among many other things. You may read more at www.childrensheaven.org.

If you would like to support Ethiopian Orphan Relief, please donate online at www.ethiopianorphanrelief.org . They have an excellent site where you can get a tax deductible receipt and designate what program you want your dollars to go in to.

YES! Happy Birthday To Me! 40 is an excellent age and I can only imagine what the next decade holds. Bring it on! I can't wait to see what God has planned!

Fall Pictures

Autumn

Around here, one can tell it is Fall because the Ferguson's have started storing away firewood for the winter. Like old times (pre-Ruby and Roman), we have finally gotten back to "normalcy" and have been able to either start new projects or finish them...as well as cut one Alder tree down in our pasture (Limbed, cut and stacked the whole tree! Now just the leaves and small branches need to be burned. There are three nice piles ready for a fall bonfire! I can almost smell it now!) Yesterday was simply gorgeous here in the Pacific NW and perfect weather for doing physical labor outside. Since I'm the type of person who would rather do anything outside (mowing the lawn, chopping & stacking wood, weeding, etc.) than anything inside (laundry, mopping, washing dishes), it was a wonderful day! I was reflecting on this yesterday, about how we weren't able to fill our woodshed last fall...there were two main reasons. One, we were still getting used to our new lives with two babies. They had only been walking a short while and were not very steady. Taking them outdoors in the rain was not easy because half the time we were picking them up from falling over. They had to be watched continuously and Roman was still putting everything in his mouth. The second reason was because we had SO MUCH rain! Buying a couple chords of wood just seemed easier, even though we broke the bank just to have enough to get through our cold, drizzly downpour of a season. Bleck!!!!
19 months later after bringing Ruby and Roman home, we are happily back to full blown "normal" and do everything pretty much the way we used to when we were just a family of four. We all have our role, our routine and it's wonderful that there really are no surprises. Because everything is routine, I have to stop and make myself acknowledge how perfect our family is. Please don't think I am being boastful...that's not my intention whatsoever. Merely, I am just in awe at how our God brought this family together in such a magnificent way. His timing, planning and love for us shows in the very children he brought into our lives (all four of them)...Timing truly can be everything!


I also want to talk specifically about my beautiful 14 year old. Our Chloe is a freshman this year! So hard to think about sometimes. Already in her three short weeks of school, she has a full schedule. She plays on the JV Volleyball team with practices every night after school, not to mention when she has games...her day is at least 10 hours long! We drop her off at 8am and pick her up at 6pm. Whew...She plays percussion in the school band and just attended her first Girls Club camp out in central Oregon. Every day she tells me delightful stories about school that day...her group of friends are uplifting, supportive and they all love being together. She has a healthy view about dating and boys and although she tells me that she 'thinks' one boy has a crush on her, she is not ready to date. I love that she has a healthy environment in which to thrive in high school! Attending the same school, 21 years ago (yikes...but it only feels like 5!), I always hoped that my children would find the same encouragement and 'fit'. In a nutshell, this year is off to a fabulous start for this new high schooler!
Knowing how fast the next four years will fly makes me quite melancholy. I am a very upbeat person, usually looking at things positively, even when they seem bleak. But seriously, thinking about my children growing up, making life changing choices and being safe really makes that little gray cloud of doom hover just a bit over my head. I want them to grow up, be happy and make good choices. But that little doom cloud reminds me that this won't always be the case. There will be times they mess up, make choices that I cannot fix and sometimes won't even be able to relate to whatsoever. Ugh. This has weighed on my mind a lot lately. Not because anything has happened to indicate so, but because I know it's inevitable because I've been there. All the nurturing, love and healthy support my mom gave me still did not 'save' me from making my own naive choices. Don't get me wrong, I didn't do drugs whatsoever, have only been flat out drunk once in my whole life and was actually a 'good' kid. But I had no clue how to handle my finances and there were many times I was completely broke, or worse...negative balance. My mom was there to talk to, but she also was a firm believer of not giving handouts. I had made my bed so to speak, so I needed to sleep in it. It always seemed so easy for her to be hard nosed, but now, being a similar type of mom, I know she was doing me a favor and not enabling me...and it was probably very difficult for her to stand by and let me fall. Lessons are hard to learn sometimes, but I am grateful. In 4 years, I will have an 18 year old and I am just a bit blue over that. So much can happen in four years. Weird to think that I was 20 years old when I got married and that is only 5 1/2 years older than Chloe is now. OK!!! With that, it's time to sign off now! Ruby and Roman are napping and there are more chores to do outside...or should I nap, too?!

Elmo vs. Barney

Holy Granoli! I can't believe it's been so long since I've blogged on here! Any computer time seems to be facebooking (yes, I'm addicted...it's so...what's the right word...instant!) or searching for library books.
My babies are growing way too fast. We've crossed a milestone. Several of them, actually. They are both now two years old and even though at times they are light years away from each other, there are moments when they seem exactly like twins.
Ruby's favorite things are being very bossy to everyone. We often hear her saying "NO! Don't Touch!!" or "Stop It!!" or "Go Away!" or "No, I don't Want It!"...my favorite is when she tells on daddy for something he's done to her. Oh my...the child is controlling and absolutely beautiful all at once. She continues to mesmerize me and I am in awe of this incredible creature that is my daughter. Ruby also loves anything pink, purple or green. She will point and tell me "That one!" to the pink or purple bowl, sippy cup or utensil. She can count to 10 easily, knows several of her colors and can say many of the alphabet. The girl can also sing just about any tune after hearing it only once or twice. She is a lover of music and like postings before this one, she can still dance up a storm!!
Her favorite character is Barney and she sings the theme song with gusto and soul. Today she said "No more Elmo, mommy...we play Barney again?!"

Roman is so full of energy that I barely know what to do some days. He wakes up incredibly happy and full of character each and every morning. I do not think he has ever awoken on the wrong side of the bed. He's just naturally a "glass half full" type of little guy! Of course, this also leads to him doing a lot of head butting because he thinks that is just part of being full of life! The kids head is made out of concrete, I swear. So, in the morning, when he is showing how awake and happy he is, he does this by crawling over and bonking his head on part of mommy's body...usually my face. I've learned to cover my head with my arms! There is no reasoning with him, he just laughs. Hardly anything makes him cry. Unless it's not getting his mama! Yes, mama's boy he is...and I'm perfectly happy with that, too.
Romy talks all day long. We do not know 99% of what he's saying, but he's chattering away just the same. He can say about 5-8 actual words, although no sentences. I am not concerned yet...well, maybe just a teensy bit...but his pediatrician doesn't seem concerned since Romy is blabbering so much. His hearing is great and normal, so we'll just give him some more time. After all, my mom said I did the same thing until I was 3 1/2 and all of a sudden one day I exclaimed "Whoooo Whooo, look at that cute boy!" (For those who know me well, this should come as no surprise!)
Elmo is Roman's very favorite thing in the whole world, next to mama! He lives, eats and breathes Elmo...that is, if he could. He will communicate that he wants to watch Elmo or Sesame Street by saying "Elmo-mo, Elmo-mo??!!" and pushing me towards the TV. If he does not get his way, he will get cranky and throw a bit of a tantrum. But it never lasts long. There is something about that little red monster that he just LOVES. So, now you can understand why Ruby is sick of red furry monsters and prefers purple dinosaurs!!

The summer simply flew by and we are officially into fall since both older kids have started school. I have a 7th grader who is enjoying his classes, but still prefers to be home and playing on the computer or his Nintendo DS. I also have a freshman!!! Wow...she totally loves her 9th grade year so far and for the first time in her life adores PE! She is on the JV volleyball team and will have her first game soon. I am so excited for her! Both kids have fabulous teachers and I'm looking forward to a happy year.

Andrew is working on an assignment in sunny Southern California. What I wouldn't give to be there, too. I wish we were on vacation to Disneyland...I truly believe it is one of the happiest places on earth. He recently quit his job at Oracle and started working for Optimum Solutions, based out of the Bay area. He is really excited to be starting somewhere else after being in his old position for 10 years. It's a great change, plus better income. Providing for a family of six gets pretty tight...

We have taken the kids off of dairy milk (not cheese or ice cream or yogurts) and switched to Almond milk. It's a delicious and healthier alternative. I've noticed a big change in Ruby's regularity and the shelf life is amazing. Sippy cups no longer go 'bad' in the car all day. Literally! I haven't had a rotten 'milk' cup in months. Just my little .02 cents.

Well, I have so many things I could go on about but it's late and recently Roman has been waking up at 4:30am and thinking it's time to start his day. BLAH!!! To be the best mama I can be, I should go to sleep...NOW!

Not making any promises to write more often, but I SO appreciate those of you who have emailed and wondered where I've been! My kids are all doing great and we are just living life to the fullest every day. Praise God for His many blessings!

Drubek

Our latest family photo session!

New Family Pics

We recently had more family photo's taken. We are very impressed with our local Yuen Liu. For being a studio that doesn't really have a lot of diversity, the price is good and the prints are quality. We were very happy with the results and could barely choose from all the truly good ones that were taken! I hope you all enjoy them!

Ruby is really interested in cows. She thinks all living, breathing, furry creatures bigger than a dog is a cow. Horses are not horses, goats moo, giraffe's must too. Yesterday we had a deer family stop in our pasture and graze. Ruby yelled excitedly to me from the living room "MOM!!! MOM!!! COW! MOM, MAMA, MOM, MAMA, COW!!!! COW!!!" I ran in to see if the neighbors herd had gotten loose (which has never happened)...Ruby is pointing out the front window and exclaiming that there are cows out there! I said "No, those are deer". Ruby answered very sweetly "No Mama, COW!"

Ruby still only has a few teeth. Late bloomer for sure. She turned 2 on the 10th of this month, yet, she only has six teeth. I can feel that her gums are very hard but those teeth can't be seen yet. Preparing foods that she can truly chew is still an ongoing endeavor. That girl will eat cheese for every meal...all cheeses! Just like her big sister, Chloe! If anyone reading this has some recipe's they'd like to share with me, please pass them along. Ruby is picky (except for cheese!) and I'm having a hard time getting her to try things. She will not eat banana's, apples, eggs, cooked carrots, oatmeal (any hot cereals) or potatoes (in any form) to name a few. I'm happy to say she will eat avocado!

Potty training is going really great. Ruby goes pee pee every time she tells us (3-4 x's per day). She does not like to go poop on the toilet yet though. She has twice, but she appears a bit scared when doing so. I believe she would be even further along, but in my old age...being a "been there, done that" mama, I'm not as on the ball as I once was. Chloe was potty trained at 16 months and Elliot was at 2. Roman will not even be ready for a long time. He is just discovering he has something dangly down there! :) Hee hee. But BOY! Does he enjoy running around naked. What boy doesn't?

Ruby's vocabulary is exploding. She will say just about anything after she hears it. Her newest words are Pizza, Miss you!, See You!, Ciao, I love you (but she only whispers this for some reason), Down Kitty kitty!, Daddy bye bye, Daddy work, Chloe, Elliot, cold, hot, balloon, coffee (she can recognize a Starbucks a block away & all mugs are "coffee"!) etc....every day she is saying something new or a new *almost* sentence. She had an entire conversation with my friend Jennifer last night. She told her that "Daddy bye bye, work, Daddy, car". She is putting wooden puzzles together well and she enjoys playing make believe. She will have conversations on anything that she can pretend is a phone and she even holds whatever object of choice on her shoulder while she "multi tasks" on the phone. Another fun thing she likes to do is pretend she is sleeping...snoring and all. Ruby and Roman LOVE playing with pillows from the bed and jumping on them, covering themselves up in them, wrestling on them, etc. These are their newest toys!
For her birthday, she got a toy guitar. Oh, what fun! Ruby loves the guitars from Rock Band, so her daddy got her one of her very own (Fisher Price style). But OH MY, the fighting between her and Roman!!! He wants one, too! They are a very typical brother/sister! Ruby is the most musical toddler I've ever seen. She loves to sing, dance and keep the beat. She can keep the rhythm better than most adults. She will sing and keep rhythm by smacking her leg to whatever she is singing. I'm truly amazed. And DANCE. That girl can dance. She's got moves like crazy.

Roman is my precious little monster. He is not yet taking off in the vocabulary department. He can say Bye Bye, Hello (and he holds his hand up to his ear while doing this usually), bath, dad, daddy, mom, mama, kitty, all done...He still knows what he wants and goes after it, unyielding. Lover of books, he enjoys playing with all of his toys, but books are his favorite. He will sit down next to the basket and "read" all by himself for long periods of time. He also loves the cat. Sometimes he gets the wrong end, but he kisses and hugs that poor cat to death. We always cringe when we see him at the tail end and he's attempting to give kisses. Ugh...at least he is a gentle little guy with critters. He also loves our little dog, Sammy. Romy actually loves the outside dogs, too, but he hasn't been able to play with them yet.

Bath time is really a monsoon in our home with the two little ones taking a bath at the same time. I cover our floor in towels and let them have fun for the most part. They still have to be reminded constantly to sit down...you know...standing in the bath is so much more fun/dangerous. But the splash fest is unbelievable!! I also have to remove all the soaps and shampoo's. Otherwise they would be pumping them into their hands and throwing them out onto the floor! Ruby and Roman both know how to pump the lotion and think they have to be a part of slathering after bath time! I always give them a little bit to rub on their tummies and they think this is THE BEST. Romy does still try to lick it, though. Something about the smell of that cucumber melon baby lotion, I guess! :)

As I write this, it is pushing 11pm and I need my beauty sleep! No kidding! The gray hair is getting thicker and the red is turning apricot. Good thing being a mommy is so grand. I truly have THE BEST job in the world. Andrew and I had our 19th wedding anniversary today...but we actually celebrated on Saturday night. I planned a date to the local roller derby! What a hoot! It was so much fun. Then dinner at one of our favorite places afterwords. It was wonderful to be out on a date...we don't do it enough...but when I'm back to the daily routine, the reality is no employer, no co-workers, no employees could ever be better than what I get to do every single day with my family! I thank God that He blesses us with a life that I am able to do this and be home with my children.

Drubek

Chaotic January - Already Busy February

One year ago this month, we arrived back on American soil with Ruby Kalkidan and Roman Abinet Ferguson. It was an amazing journey that will last our life times. We are so over joyed that we heeded the call from God to expand our family through adoption.

January flew past with celebrating three birthdays...Andrew's, mine and then Chloe's. My grandmother passed away on my birthday, she was 99. A couple of weeks before that, my uncle passed away after a long battle with a brain tumor and then on the 16th, my other uncle passed on from a short battle with pancreatic cancer. Our family had the services for all three on the same weekend in Eastern Washington. Whew. What a weekend...celebrating three wonderful and amazing lives as well as connecting to family that we haven't seen in years, even decades. My grandmother was the epitome of the Christ centered life and she was faithful and obedient to the end. Always cheerful and full of spunk! She was a very funny lady who enjoyed making the grandchildren laugh at her silly faces!

I threw Andrew a surprise 40th party at a local retirement home (Whaaaa Ha Ha Haaaa!) and it was a great turn out. We are blessed with many friends, most of whom we do not get to spend enough time with!

My oldest turned 14 (!!!) on the 19th and we had seven teen girls here for a slumber/X-box rock band party. There was colored hair spray glitter all over the bathroom and girls camped all over the living room floor. It was a huge hit. Having a small house, we weren't sure how that would work out, but the next day all the girls were raving about the fun they had. Chloe was concerned that the babies would wake up while the girls were all rocking out. We told her that it was ok. Be as noisy as they wanted...it was her party and she was only 14 once (it's not like we have this many teens here very often and if we want them to keep coming back, they need to feel comfortable). Besides, Ruby and Roman can sleep through just about anything...And, they did! It is evident we have a teenager. She is going more places and occupying her time with her friends and school functions. It makes me sad...and proud. Next year she will be in high school. Sigh.

Ruby has consistently been going pee pee on the big potty about once per day. We do the potty dance and really whoop it up. She is very proud.

This morning, as the house was quite cold, Ruby pointed to her toes and said "Mom, cold!!" I asked her if she needed some socks on and she nodded her head "yes" and said "Shocks!" She also is saying more and more two and three work sentences. When we get in the truck to leave somewhere, she will ask "Go home?" Or, to pick up the older kids at school she will say "Go Elliot?" She does not say "Chloe" very much, but she can say it.

Roman is just starting to say more words. He now says "Hello" and will say a few other words once or twice before keeping silent again. But his own language prevails. He can carry on a conversation but we don't know what he's saying! :) We'll get there.

Roman runs everywhere. I'm not sure he knows what walking it. He also has discovered climbing and so we've had to baby proof even more than before. I've also noticed he is getting more "snuggly". I am delighted. Usually, he is very happy to play, read and run around like a crazy man and not have too much holding time. So our hugs and cuddles are very precious.

Next week is Valentines...may your heart be filled to the brim with love and kindness.

drubek

Life Goes Too Fast!

I can't believe it's been so long since an update. Just shows how busy and full life is. For Christmas, all six of us took a wonderful trip back east. We visited Philadelphia and all it's historical glory. Then off to Washington DC for almost a week. It was really cool to show the kids our nations capitol and the sites. From there we spent our last week in New York City. There is so much to see in each of these cities that two weeks wasn't possibly enough. For Chloe and I, seeing Ellis Island was a highlight. We walked everywhere each day as much as we could to experience the cities. The subway was a new experience and thanks to my husband, the walking GPS navigator, was also a fairly easy way to get around NYC. We'd love to go back when we can spend more time. Plenty we missed, that's for sure!

It's amazing how quickly life speeds by. Ruby will be 2 in March with Roman following closely in July. They are daily doing and saying new things. Ruby can say two and three word sentences and will surprise us with something she's heard and just say it appropriately! Today I handed her cup to her and she said "Thank you" without any prompting whatsoever. She is fascinated with "Pee Pee" and will point to hers and everyone elses! I bought her pull ups so we can start getting serious about the potty department!
Roman says a few new words each week. He is catching up, but slowly. I would not say he is delayed, but he likes to jibber jabber and doesn't really see the need to actually talk. He runs everywhere and rarely walks. This little boy is already fast and has some serious football skills with his zigging and zagging! He has discovered the joys of climbing and is fearless...you all know what that means. I constantly am taking him down from somewhere he's gotten himself into!

What a joy they both are. It never ceases to amaze me at how joyful, energetic and full of mischief they can be. It keeps me on my toes. Daily I feel ganged up on but wouldn't change it because it's usually full of hilarity, too! They both make me laugh more than anything else. I wish Andrew was home more so he could enjoy the daily life before they grow up. It's happening too fast.

Another thing happening too fast is a 14 year old in the house. Thank goodness she is such a great kid...she'll graduate from 8th grade in June and then next year off to high school. Sigh. She's beautiful and has her head on straight. She is a joy, most of the time...but definitely starting to spread her wings. She hopes to find out this week if she was voted class president. She is still in percussion in band and also continues the piano. Through the winter sports program at school, this is her third year taking snowboarding. She completely loves it!

Elliot is doing a fantastic job in 6th grade. He continues playing the upright bass and piano. He recently scored in the 87th percentile of all 6th graders nationwide in the Iowa Basic tests. He loves to read and snowboard. He is an attentive big brother and is always willing to care and play with his baby brother and sister.

Andrew is still on an assignment in Omaha, Nebraska. We are grateful that he has a job but like I mentioned earlier, it would be nice if he was closer to home now more than ever. Life is changing fast around the Ferguson home.

The question we've been asked a lot (so I'll address it now) is if we have considered adopting from Haiti...I think anyone with a heart probably has considered this since the massive earthquake doubled the orphan population. We pray daily for their safety and peace for this country. If the Lord has more children in mind for us, then it will happen. We will know if this is the case because He will impress it upon our hearts. He will also provide the room we need to bring home more children since the house we live in could not accommodate more now. I don't need to be concerned with that though.

I hope everyone is having a fabulous February so far. It seems like it should be the middle of the month already and not the beginning, though! I guess some things aren't going too fast!

♥drubek